Taking Control in Uncertain Times: A Lesson in Mindful Practice
December 27, 2024
As a new nurse in the NICU at the Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN, I had a preceptor named Tammy. She had a level of precision that initially felt exhausting to me.
At the start of each shift, Tammy had me meticulously organize each baby’s bedside: drug drip lines had to be perfectly labeled, ventilator and respiratory equipment had to be arranged consistently, and supplies like 1cc syringes, 3cc syringes, and alcohol wipes had to be placed in their designated spots.
This task initially felt tedious, even frustrating for someone who isn't naturally SO detail-oriented. One day, feeling exasperated, I asked Tammy why this level of organization was necessary. Her response has stayed with me for decades.
“This is the only time we DO have control,” she said. “If and when the baby’s condition deteriorates, we’ve controlled all the variables we could, and we’ll be able to provide the best care because we won’t be rummaging around for supplies, and we know exactly where and how all of the supportive equipment and drips are being delivered.”
It made perfect sense, and I realized it was also my responsibility. From that day on, I adopted Tammy’s approach, and in the following years, I precepted many others similarly. This practice became a touchstone for me and extends to my personal life, especially in times of distress or uncertainty. By controlling what can be controlled, we create a foundation that allows us to adapt easily and effectively when chaos inevitably arises.
Control vs. the Illusion of Control
Distressing times—whether in our personal lives, society, or the world at large—often amplify our need for control. While this is a natural response to uncertainty, it can also lead to anxiety, frustration, and burnout.
Waking up to a rigid To-Do list can feel like taking control, but the day can feel like a failure when we don’t complete every task. Such lists often stem from the desperate, unguided ego, a need to impose some sort of structure that may not align with the flow of our soul’s greater purpose.
Instead, what if we approach each day with mindfulness and intention before the ego takes the reins? What if we shifted our perspective from controlling everything to listening to what wants to happen?
A Mindful Morning Practice: The Three Fundamental Questions
Before rising in the morning, when your brain is still in its pre-alert, semi-dreamlike state, consider these three fundamental questions based on the Center for Transformational Presence framework. This practice taps into your subconscious mind and connects you to a deeper sense of purpose and clarity:
1. What Wants to Happen Today?
Before the ego starts scripting a rigid agenda, pause and listen. This question allows you to align with the natural flow of your day. It’s not about what you want to happen but what the day itself seems to be calling for. This step shifts your mindset from controlling to collaborating with the universe.
2. Who Is This Asking Me to Be?
This question invites reflection on your role and identity for the day. Are you being called to be patient, compassionate, courageous, or focused? It’s about embracing the qualities the day requires of you rather than forcing a preconceived idea of what you should be.
3. What Is This Asking Me to Do?
Only after connecting with what wants to happen and who you need to be does the ego come into play—not as a dictator but as a servant to your higher purpose. Let your actions stem from the clarity and intention you’ve cultivated, making each task meaningful and aligned.
Be sure to have a journal handy to take notes on insights that come through!
Cultivating Courage in Mind, Body, and Soul
Just as Tammy taught me to prepare the NICU bedside for the unexpected, this mindful practice prepares us for our times' emotional and spiritual challenges. Organizing what we can control allows us to adapt as a courageously brave being when life throws us the unexpected.
While resilience is often seen as a strength, it can subtly reinforce the idea that we are victims of our circumstances, merely bouncing back from hardship. Instead, these times call for courage—proactive bravery that empowers us to face challenges head-on and grow through them. Courage shifts the narrative from enduring adversity to actively shaping our response and finding purpose amid uncertainty.
Embracing the Mission of Today
This mindful morning practice can be an anchor in a world filled with personal, societal, and global turmoil. By aligning our intentions with our higher purpose before the ego takes control, we empower ourselves to navigate uncertainty with grace and courage.
Think of your soul as the agent of a higher mission and your ego as its hands and feet, ready to serve. Just like in the Mission Impossible series, imagine waking up each day to a briefcase containing your assignment: a message reminding you that you’ve been prepared for this mission. This shift reframes your day as a purposeful adventure rather than a battle of survival, empowering you to embrace your role with bravery and intention. It is your choice to step into it; no one can do that for you!
The next time you feel the urge to control every variable, remember Tammy’s wisdom: focus on what you can control and let go of what you cannot. By grounding ourselves in mindfulness, we create space for adaptability and clarity, even in the face of episodic chaos.
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